Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
