just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
