they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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