I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
