My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
