Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
