I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
