The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
