We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
