you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
