youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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