Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
too bad you live with your parents still
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
