i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
