Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
