Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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