glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
