I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
