Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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