I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
