would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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