is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I FOUND THE LEGS
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
