Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
