He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
