I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
