I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
