Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
