pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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