Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
