try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You pole danced in your parka.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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