I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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