Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
