Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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