i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
