PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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