Grow some girl-balls and come out already
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
