please come you make the beer taste better
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
