Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
