Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Randomize
