sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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