Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
