Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize