I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize