maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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