we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
