when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
