Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
