Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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