I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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