We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
