dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
