Welp...herpes.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
