this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
