forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize