Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
