its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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