The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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