I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize