okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
