what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
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