It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
